Leadership in high-performance sports often calls to mind images of fiery speeches, intense drills, and unrelenting pressure to perform. But what if the true power of leadership lies not in volume or spectacle, but in quiet empathy? What if understanding your team’s emotional state, connecting with them on a human level, and guiding them patiently could unlock their best performance? These are some of the insights shared by Gordon Schmidt, a retired Navy SEAL who transitioned into coaching high school rowing, in his conversation with Simon Sinek, known for his books and presentations on inspirational leadership .
His journey and leadership philosophy offer valuable lessons for field hockey coaches, team leaders in any high-stakes sport, and anyone looking to grow as a coach. Gordon’s story is compelling not only because of his unique background but because of the universal truths he reveals about leadership, resilience, and team culture. Let’s explore the lessons he shares and what they mean for coaches aiming to build stronger, more cohesive teams.
Coming up are:
→ The journey from Navy SEAL to rowing coach
→ The power of teamwork and coordination
→ The emotional complexity of your identity in high performance teams
→ The rollercoaster of team selection
→ The culture is the backbone
→ Lessons learned about empathy… and several other topics of leadership…
Gordon spent over 20 years in the Navy SEALs, leading teams in some of the most intense, high-pressure environments imaginable. After retiring about a year and a half ago, he faced what many veterans do—a period of adjustment and searching for a new identity. For a while, he found himself “wallowing,” struggling with the loss of the brotherhood and purpose that had defined so much of his life.
Then a former Navy teammate nudged him back into rowing, a sport he had loved at the Naval Academy but hadn’t touched for over two decades. The first practice was a seat race, a tough, competitive format that immediately drew him back into the rhythm and flow of the sport. This reintroduction to rowing sparked something new: a chance to lead again, but this time in a very different context.
When the head coach position for the San Diego Rowing Club’s high school men’s team opened up, Gordon applied and was surprisingly hired—even with zero formal coaching experience. The reason? His deep understanding of rowing and, notably, his experience navigating the complex spectrum of “male ego” from his military background. This insight alone speaks volumes about the importance of emotional intelligence in coaching.
Transitioning from combat leadership to coaching teens required Gordon to develop patience—a trait he admits he had to learn actively.
Coaching, he realized, is fundamentally about patience and presence, about showing up consistently and being aware of how you’re interacting with your team emotionally and psychologically.
SEAL Teams and Rowing Crews: The Power of Teamwork and Coordination
One of the most striking parts of Gordon’s story is how he draws parallels between SEAL teams and rowing crews. Both require intense coordination, mutual trust, and a shared commitment to the team’s success over individual glory. He makes a crucial distinction between rowing as a sport and crew as a team activity. While one can row solo, crew demands synchronization and teamwork—qualities essential both in combat and in competitive sports.
For field hockey coaches, this is a powerful reminder that success isn’t just about assembling the most talented players but about fostering a culture of collaboration, trust, and mutual accountability. The crew’s performance depends on every member moving in harmony, much like a field hockey team must operate seamlessly across offense, defense, and transition phases.
Gordon’s military experience taught him that working together is the only path to success, a lesson that applies to any team sport. The mental toughness required in SEAL training also mirrors the discipline and resilience needed in high-performance sports like field hockey.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Focus on building team cohesion and understanding each player’s role in the collective effort.
Emphasize coordination drills that promote synchronization and communication.
Recognize that individual talent is important but only as part of a well-oiled team machine.
Identity, Loss, and the Transition from SEAL to Coach
Leaving the SEAL teams was a profound emotional challenge for Gordon. Though he tried to keep his identity separate from his job, the two were deeply intertwined. The loss of the brotherhood—the unique camaraderie that comes with being part of an elite group—was especially hard.
He shares a poignant metaphor: the “loudest sound in the world” isn’t gunfire in battle but the gate shutting behind you on your last day in the teams. That moment symbolizes a finality and the start of a new chapter that can feel isolating and disorienting.
For coaches in any sport, understanding this emotional complexity is critical. Players and coaches alike often tie their identity to their role on the team. Especially for those in high performance teams. When transitions occur—whether retiring, changing teams, or moving into coaching—there can be a sense of loss. Recognizing and addressing this emotional reality can help you support your athletes more effectively.
Gordon’s acceptance of this loss, and his decision to stop numbing the sadness and instead embrace it, was a turning point. Coaching gave him a renewed sense of purpose and connection, allowing him to channel his energy into developing young athletes.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Be aware of the emotional identities tied to athletic roles and transitions.
Create a supportive environment where players can express vulnerability and process change.
Use your own experiences to empathize with athletes facing challenges or transitions.
Learning from Athletes: The Emotional Rollercoaster of Team Selection
One story Gordon shares is about a young rower who was moved out of the top varsity boat and placed into a lower tier. The athlete went through a classic emotional cycle—anger, sadness, isolation—before accepting the change and committing fully to making his new boat the fastest possible.
This story is a goldmine for coaches in high-performance sports. It highlights the importance of helping athletes manage disappointment and reframe setbacks as opportunities. Gordon’s approach was clear and compassionate:
he communicated that no changes were permanent and that every athlete had the chance to compete and prove themselves again.
What stood out was the athlete’s response. Instead of succumbing to bitterness, he worked harder, showed up every day, and eventually earned his spot back. This resilience not only benefited the individual but also the entire team’s culture.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Manage team selection transparently and empathetically to minimize resentment.
Encourage athletes to view setbacks as temporary and focus on controllable factors—effort, attitude, improvement.
Cultivate a team culture where everyone takes ownership of making their group successful, regardless of status.
Building a Positive Team Culture: More Than Talent and Strength
Gordon emphasizes that culture is the backbone of any successful crew or team. It’s not enough to be fast or strong; teams must have positive dynamics, mutual respect, and composure under pressure.
He points out the importance of maintaining composure during a race, especially when trailing. The confidence to know “we are still in control” and can come from behind is a hallmark of a strong team culture. The psychological edge gained from this mindset can be the difference between winning and losing.
For field hockey coaches, this translates directly into fostering mental toughness and emotional intelligence within your squad. Teaching players how to stay calm, focused, and motivated—even when the scoreboard isn’t in their favor—builds resilience and competitive grit.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Prioritize mental and emotional training alongside physical skills.
Model and reinforce a culture of positivity, resilience, and mutual respect.
Teach players tactical composure and confidence to perform under pressure.
Empathy as an Operational Advantage: Lessons from Combat Leadership
Perhaps the most profound insight Gordon shares is how empathy transformed his leadership during a deployment in Afghanistan. After a traumatic incident where a bomb disposal officer on his team was blinded, Gordon realized that empathy was the key to guiding his team through the emotional aftermath and continuing the mission successfully.
Empathy, in this context, meant understanding how each individual processed the event differently and tailoring his leadership approach accordingly. It wasn’t about grand speeches or forced motivation but about quiet presence, honest acknowledgment of feelings, and steady guidance.
This lesson is incredibly relevant for coaches in any high-pressure environment. Whether your team is dealing with injuries, losses, or off-field challenges, your ability to connect with their emotional state and respond compassionately can keep the team cohesive and focused.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Develop emotional awareness to recognize how different players react to stress and adversity.
Lead with empathy to build trust and resilience in your team.
Understand that strong leadership is often quiet and patient rather than loud and forceful.
Calm Breeds Calm: The Power of Tone in Leadership
Gordon recounts a combat moment where, amidst gunfire, he spoke to a pinned-down teammate in a calm, almost conversational tone rather than barking orders. This unexpected approach not only calmed himself but also the teammate, fostering clear communication and trust.
For field hockey coaches, this highlights the critical role of tone and demeanor. Your emotional state and the way you communicate can set the atmosphere for your entire team. Calmness under pressure is contagious and can help players perform their best in tense moments.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Practice staying calm and composed, especially during high-pressure situations.
Use tone intentionally to encourage, reassure, and focus your players.
Remember that leadership is as much about how you say something as what you say.
Leadership Styles and Authenticity: Finding What Works for Your Team
Not all leadership styles are the same, and what resonates with one group may not with another. Gordon shares stories of different leaders he encountered—some who were respected despite a gruff style, others who lost their team’s trust quickly.
He underscores that authenticity, respect, and tone are more important than any specific leadership style. Leaders who are predictable and genuine, even if tough, earn respect and loyalty.
For coaches, this means understanding your own leadership style and adapting it to the needs of your team while staying true to yourself. It also involves recognizing that different players may respond better to different approaches, and flexibility is key.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Be authentic and consistent in your leadership to build trust.
Adapt your style to fit the context and the personalities on your team.
Respect your players and communicate with them in ways that foster respect in return.
Grit, Drive, and the Price of Admission
Gordon talks about grit not as a mysterious quality but as a willingness to pay the “price of admission.” For him, that meant enduring the physical and mental hardships of SEAL training to be part of a brotherhood he valued deeply.
He points out that many who quit SEAL training do so because they aren’t honest with themselves about why they want to be there. They might be drawn to the status or image, not the reality of the commitment.
For coaches, this translates into helping athletes understand their “why”—their real reasons for pursuing the sport and the team. When players have a clear, honest motivation, they’re more likely to persevere and grow.
Takeaway for Field Hockey Coaches:
Help your players discover and articulate their personal motivations.
Be clear about the commitment and sacrifices required to succeed.
Encourage honest self-reflection to build authentic grit and resilience.
Putting It All Together: What Field Hockey Coaches Can Learn
Gordon Schmidt’s journey from Navy SEAL to rowing coach teaches us that great coaching and leadership don’t always come from loud commands or dramatic gestures. Instead, they come from empathy, patience, authenticity, and a deep understanding of human nature.
As field hockey coaches, the lessons are clear:
Prioritize Emotional Intelligence: Understand your players’ feelings, challenges, and motivations. Empathy is not a weakness—it’s an operational advantage that can help your team overcome adversity.
Build a Positive, Resilient Culture: Focus on teamwork, respect, and mental toughness. Encourage players to support each other and maintain composure under pressure.
Communicate with Calm and Clarity: Your tone sets the emotional tone for the team. Calm leadership breeds calm players, which leads to better decision-making and performance.
Be Patient and Present: Coaching is a long game. Show up consistently, be patient with development, and stay aware of your own emotional state as a leader.
Help Players Find Their Why: Encourage honest reflection on motivations and commitment. This clarity fuels grit and perseverance.
Adapt Your Leadership Style: Be authentic but flexible. Different players and situations require different approaches. Respect and authenticity are non-negotiable.
Ultimately, coaching is about guiding people through their challenges, helping them grow, and unlocking their potential—not just on the field but as individuals. Gordon’s story is a powerful reminder that the quiet power of empathy and human connection can transform teams and leaders alike.
If you want to become a better field hockey coach, start by listening to your team, understanding their emotional landscape, and leading with patience and empathy. The results might surprise you.
Remember, leadership is less about the loudest voice and more about the quietest strength—the ability to connect, understand, and inspire from within.
Watch the full video from Simon Sinek here ↓
